Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sticky Fail

Somewhere out there I'm sure there is a term for the exact moment in time when an effective process, great idea or all around awesome thing becomes the precise opposite of it's intended purpose, and begins to suck tremendously. Now I don't know what that term is, so I am going to make one up. The term will be called Sticky Fail, which actually segue's nicely into my point. I work in an office with computers and Microsoft Office and all that stuff that's designed to keep me efficient and productive. However, taking the time to learn how to use those programs is, in my opinion, a completely inefficient and unproductive waste of my time. So instead I use the Post It method of tracking and cataloging important pieces of information. My method is a simple and quick two step process, 1) if it's important for me to remember, I write it on a sticky, 2) then I take said sticky and put it where ever there is space on my desk. Unfortunately months of employing this simple method have resulted in Sticky Fail. I now have so many stickies plastered all over my desk they've become like visual "white noise." My eyes no longer register brightly colored little square shapes, but instead, my retinal sensors have become numb to the tiny paper assault of stationary neon cubes and subsequently require more aggressive stimulation to trigger a neural spark, such as airplanes or laser blasts. Anything short of a giant shiny flying object zipping past my window or a mushroom cloud hardly gets a sizzle of brain activity. My stickies are my enemies. They have no meaning. Add to that the fact that I no longer understand what the cryptic little messages, ironically constructed to save time, mean. So now, instead of having gentle little colorful reminders of all my important stuff, I've got an office full of hate squares, that when, actually having succeeded in being finally noticed, serve only to cement that dark feeling of dread preceding the realization that I just failed to do something SUPER important! But that's not even the saddest part. The saddest part is that I haven't come up with anything better to combat Sticky Fail. Suggestions are greatly appreciated unless they include any or all of the following:

1. If you actually worked, you wouldn't have time to mess with sticky's.
2. Hey moron, that's what the big calendar on your desk is for.
3. Clean off your desk once in a while and you might not have this problem.
4. You're fat, stop sitting around on your huge butt writing on post its and exercise!
5. Post its are bad for the environment, there bright irritating colors anger and confuse animals and homeless people. Plus, they're existence stomps a giant neon colored carbon foot print right on mother earth's heart. Bad, bad post its.
6. Only idiots use post its.


Kim Cotterman said...

I happen to love my post it's and I will not stop using them. I write on them to keep secrets from my computer.

RedHorse said...

What lies in our power to do, lies in our power not to do. Aristotle

Genuis said...

David Patterson wrote:So, you're the victim of "post-it pollution. (PP)" Should you recover, of course it would be "post post-it pollution.(PPP)" There is a chance that your circumstance could have an upside or a "positive post post-it pollution.(PPPP)" You would hope that what happens is lasting or "permanent positive post post-it pollution.(PPPPP)" Hope this helps.

RedHorse said...

Start by sorting your post-its by size and color. You may have between 2 and 20 individual post-it piles after this. Find/purchase a size and color of post-it that you do not currently have in your sorted piles. Use this new post-it to label your post-it piles. The labeling post-it should be of the large variety so that you can index the post-it pile beneath it. This indexing post-it or label post-it will provide the listing of all post-its in the pile which is represents. After indexing use a clam clip, paper clip, or staple if you wish to attach the indexing post-it to you pile underneath. Now, get another large post-it unlike any colour you currently have and index all the index post-its you used to label the numerous piles. This super indexing post-it will be the master post-it of your sub-super post-its that index the many minor post-its. Next, scan your master post-it into an eFile or if you are illscanerite open a word doc and type the contents of your master post-it onto it. Save this scanned file or word doc in a folder called "Post-it Machine" on the root directory (sometimes called the "C" drive (could be the "D" drive if the hard drive is partitioned)). Now, create a shortcut to the master post-it file/doc in the "Post-it Machine" folder and put this shortcut (or alias for Mac users) on your computer desktop. Next, create a file system using hanging files, folders or plastic sheet protectors in a binder. Label each folder with the title of each sub-super master post-it. Place the sub-super master post-it and the individual minor post-its, which should be clipped to the sub-super master post-it, in the appropriate folder, file, or sheet protector. Label the folder, etc., with the same title as the sub-super master post-it. Then create a index of contents on a separate post-it or sheet of paper for each file and place in the front of the folder, etc.. Lastly, create a Table of sub-super master post-it similar to the super master post-it that you saved in the "Post-it Machine" folder. Put this Table in the index of contents folder.

All you have to do to recall archived post-its is access the master post-in the the "Post-it Machine" folder via the shortcut/alias on your computer desktop. Review the master post-it for the relevant category, then look in the table of sub-super master post-its to find the file with the category and then scan the index list in the correct file to find your archived post-it.

To archive a new post-it just reverse the process.

Glad I could help.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Pied Patter,
I need some new reading material. Much appreciated.