Thursday, February 12, 2009

Puppies for Peace

I saw this photo and an ingenious plan began to develop. "Why not? Why not puppies for peace? Who doesn't love a puppy?" It's so simple, and, it solves two problems at once, 1) it takes care of all the unwanted puppies we have in our country, and 2) it creates a warm and fuzzy feelings between the U.S. our enemies all because of the beauty and goodness of puppy love.

So, not wanting to waste any time on my plan for world peace, I got the Air Force to agree to airlift all the puppies to Iraq. Once the puppies safely arrived in Iraq after 36 hours without food or water, our special forces prepared the puppies for their very important job of showering our enemies with puppy kisses and creating world peace. The puppies were then groomed and fed and a big red bow was put on each of them. They looked precious. An airman who tied the bows was quoted as saying, "They are so cute, how could those heartless bastards not love these little guys?" The Puppy War On Terror (PWOT) was under way. The puppies were then transported under the cover of night to the hideouts of known terrorists. The special forces unit were instructed to run up to the doors, leave the puppies on the door steps, ring the door bells and runaway unseen. Each puppy had a note attached that read,

Dear Terrorist Coward,
Here's a cute puppy,
let's be friends!

Love,
The U.S.

All the puppies were delivered without incident and I was thrilled that the world was finally going to be free of war and pain and suffering all because we are one people and we speak a common language called "puppy".

Unfortunately, this was not the case. The puppies, it turns out, were actually CIA operatives trained to kill terrorists, not love them, as I had been led to believe. Yeah, who knew puppies could kill? So once the puppies were delivered to their new owners, they were trained to kill anyone wearing a kaffiyeh, you might know it as that black and white checked scarf thing they wear on their heads. I was devastated when I heard Fox News report 146 of Al Qaeda's most deadly terrorists had been killed by my puppies. So instead of our country helping to bring about peace and harmony, we just ended up with a bunch of dead terrorists and some really lethal puppies, which the military is now sending to North Korea.

3 comments:

Kim Cotterman said...

Can I get a ribbon to support the PWOT?

Genuis said...

Ribbons will be available as soon as we settle on a color. So far the only two colors not already taken by causes are Ocher and Burnt Umber. Not thrilled about either.

Pillage said...

How terrible I will be keeping an eye on you for a newly formed organization: P.E.T.O.P.a.O.P.A.O.D.A.C.D.A.I.C, (People for the Ethical Treatment Of Puppies and Only Puppies all Other Animals Can Die for All I Care.) Oh yea and we already have Burnt Umber so looks like its Ocher for you lot!