Thursday, April 23, 2009

Obama Cures Insomnia

Obama, credited with healing the sick, raising the dead, solving Einstein's Theory of Everything, and teaching dolphins to speak, has done yet another amazing thing. He was able, where modern medicine has failed, to put his staffer Larry Summers into a deep sleep. Obama was in the middle of a staff meeting when he was silently alerted to his accomplishment. Smiling, as a father unto his weary beleaguered son, Obama quitely left the room and returned with a multi-colored Obama throw, hand knit by Nairobi school children, and placed it gently over Summers slumbering body. He then said with hushed voice, "Shhhh....." signalling for everyone to get up quietly and exit the room. When asked later about how he achieved this amazing feat, Obama humbly replied, "I have been doing incredible things for so long I don't even have to think about it and it happens. I gave a blind man his sight back yesterday just by running him over in a cross walk with one of the SUV's in my security detail. His sight back! Can you believe it?" Summers, who was allowed to sleep uninterrupted for the duration of the meeting, woke feeling well rested. He later commented to a colleague, "That was the best sleep I've had in a long time. Obama is truly amazing, he can put anyone to sleep."

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