Tuesday, April 7, 2009

CHIFU Naval Strategy Conference on Piracy Deterrence

China: We need to stop pirates. China has plans to take over world. Pirates greatly interfere with world domination. This not work for us.

U.S.: Blow them up.

France: Ah! America! That is exactly the wrong thing to do. It only makes them angry. Non! We must find their weakness and exploit it! Wine, women, cable. There must be something they want.

India: They want money you stupid little man! They keep taking our ships and we keep paying them. This is a very very good deal for the pirates. India supports blowing them up!

U.S.: Right, we're agreed. Blow them up.

France: Non!

China: Uh, we only small pre-industrial country, with few tiny people, little resources, we not helpful here, we let you big countries work it out, OK, bye now!

U.S.: We're gonna blow them up.

India: Yes, let's.

France: Sacrebleu!

1 comment:

RedHorse said...

How 'bout CHIFUS?

Somalia: I say we let them go.
Somalia: Oh come on...give 'em a cookie. They look like nice pirates.
Somalia: Perhaps the state sponsor of the pirates, whoever that is, might agree to stop allowing the pirates to operate from their beautiful shores if some sort of agreement could be reached? We are sure…ahhh...we think they could be persuaded to intervene for some small gestures of goodwill. We would like...ahhh, excuse me,...THEY should be happy with some investments in infrastructure. Our generous Chinese comrades may wish to build something like, I don't know, maybe an oil refinery. We...THEY of course would allow generous access to mineral deposits and open markets for a variety of plastic toys. We, Somalia, humbly volunteer to be a secure trusted go-between for these negotiations.