Monday, April 20, 2009

Obama's New Book Series

The people at Crown Publishing Group have decided to publish a new book series by Barack Obama. Clearly wanting to capitalize on the new Presidents popularity before the general public realizes what they've elected, Crown is hoping the series turns a massive profit and kills more trees, publishers hate trees. The Group, responsible for Obama's other two hardbacks entitled, The Audacity of Hope and Dreams of My Father, will be releasing the three book series all at the same time. The titles include, The Audacity of My Fathers Dreams, Hope My Audacity Can Father, and The Father of All Audacity.

Cindy Willowhead, a spokesperson for Crown Publishing Group, said in a recent press conference, "We are very excited about this new series by Barack Obama's two other books." When asked if she really meant to say that Obama's two other books wrote the series, Willowhead replied, "Yes, it's very simple, we've taken all the words from his other two books, mixed them up, slapped covers on them, and called it a new series. They are beautiful, pure poetry." Clearly hopped up on hippie lettuce, Willowhead had this to say, "Obama's words are so powerful that it doesn't matter what order you put them in, they will be meaningful, move the masses, and make a buttload of money." To prove her point she read an excerpt from The Audacity of My Fathers Dreams:

Will the word hope not me do what daddy far long cry done. Audacity not be man child decent way the from coming book heart blood? Said summer twenty-first, "Not stranger small, much heavy wolf long concerned!" Jump had gate race full summer hot still. Reason please found find exchange mad self store ascent.

Many wept. Two journalists and several onlookers received medical treatment for uncontrollable sobbing. One man jumped out a second story window, and a Fox news correspondent was flogged and beaten after he asked Willowhead what the passage meant.

1 comment:

RedHorse said...

F U N N Y. Too bad you gave a stupid idea to someone who will try to implement it. 6 months and there will be some kind of reality mocking your brilliant satire.